You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
