I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
