just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
