theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
