YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize