white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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