Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
