I didn't shave. On purpose
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
