so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
handjob tips. give me some.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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