Who did Billy Mays play for?
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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