I want you more than these girls want KFC
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
