i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
