is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
