Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
