I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
