If that was your dad, he is hot
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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