Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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