sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
you never un-have a 4some
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
