So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
