Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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