So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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