you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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