Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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