I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
