yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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