Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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