Non-Jews are for practice
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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