No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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