okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
