Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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