I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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