So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
