i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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