you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Help me help you realize you are a moron
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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