Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
