Is it normal to miss your booty call?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
