I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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