I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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