i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
It was confusing and full of hummus
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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