he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
