Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Randomize