i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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