dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
