I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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