Fuck appropriateness.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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