I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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