Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize