i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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