Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
