So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
