Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
