I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize