Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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