So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
being pregnant is like rehab
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
