I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
We're too hungover to prance.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
