You work out of a Hotel?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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