He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
