still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize