"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
