so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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