After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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