Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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