Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
