also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
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