# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize