Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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