I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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