I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
