So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
