He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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