It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
